What’s happening, yo?

Okay, so I’m one of the whitest people ever, and so, I am being ironic whenever I attempt any form of “cool speak”, because … well, honestly, I’m just not a cool person.
So, here’s what’s going on with me:

My grandfather passed away on November 9th, the same day as the fitness show. It was surprisingly hard to deal with, as I found myself crying on Mr. Grumpiface, Mr. Laziface & Miss Sassiface that morning. It was the day of the fitness show, and the Misters were at the show all day, and Miss Sassiface was busy with her sister. I moped around the house, watching Disney movies and crying, as my grandfather was my last remaining grandparent, and even though he was ready to go and quite ill, I was very sad that he was gone. Then, in the evening, I decided to stop being sad and go out, because my grandfather would have understood the need for a good party, since he was quite the partier in his youth.

So, I went out to the Sin City Military Party, for which I had an outfit gifted to me from one of the instructors at the dojo before she absconded to England for a fantastic opportunity, and I had a great time. I danced, I partied, I had many, many people I didn’t know tell me how AMAZING I looked, (Thanks, guys!) and I didn’t actually get ANY pictures of the night except one in which I look like a moron, so I’m not posting it. Apparently by the time the Misters Grumpiface and Laziface showed up, they had closed down the photo booth, which was pretty fucking lame. I was not pleased. They had the photographer going around, but the same thing happened to me that ALWAYS happens to me – the photographer looked at me, I smiled, and HE TURNED AWAY, deciding NOT to take a picture of me. WHAT THE FUCK, PHOTOGRAPHER? DO YOU THINK I PUT NINE HUNDRED HOURS INTO MY MAKE-UP SO YOU CAN DISMISS ME? DIE IN A CHEMICAL FIRE, YOU SYPHILIS-RIDDEN JERKNOZZLE!!!
There IS a slight clique problem at all Alt clubs, which means that if you’re not friends with the people who run it, you’re no one. And I don’t like feeling like I’m no one. (Nobody does!) I have a hard time not taking it personally – If you’re there to take pictures of hot people, and I have perfect strangers telling me how awesome I look, then you shouldn’t be walking away from me. End of story.

Sorry, surprise rant. Whew. Didn’t even realize that was there!

So, continuing on. Work has been Meh lately. M made a mistake while I was on holidays that was a BAD mistake, so by the time we got that fixed, she had become unbearable. She’s extremely hard on herself, so when she has a reason to be hard on herself, she expresses it by being a huge pain in the ass for everyone else, including people who aren’t even there. She was out sick on Friday, and I had a little chat with the big boss lady about how she’s driving me INSANE. At that point, big boss lady said that M is driving her insane too, but to just be patient. SHE’S NEVER GOING TO FIRE HER. *cries inside*

Oh, and I braved Metrotown during Black Friday sales yesterday. You might be asking what could possibly motivate me to put myself in such a seething mass of humanity during the BLACK FRIDAY SALES? The answer?

I LOVE Christmas. I’m not religious and I’m an atheist, but since I was raised in a very non-religious household, I don’t really associate Christmas with religion because let’s face it, Christmas only serves the god of consumerism ANYWAY. Also, Christmas as we know it is such a mish-mash of traditions and celebrations from different religions around the world, so…

Anyway, the POINT is, I love Christmas. It’s about being with the people you love, exchanging gifts that say “you mean a great deal to me”, and making things nice. I love Christmas decorations, I love Christmas dinner (yum!) and most of all, I love being with my family and friends. So, what’s not to like? I’m an atheist, so I don’t care if people say “Merry Christmas”, “Happy Hanukkah” or whatever else is celebrated this time of year – I used to say “Happy Non-Denominational Holiday!” because I don’t CARE what delusion you think is waiting for you when you die, I just want you to have a good time RIGHT NOW. So, stop getting your panties in a bunch and just ENJOY YOURSELVES.

Peace out, bitches!

So, this is day 5 of the diet, and I am STUPID. I am hungry, tired, and my cognitive processes keep stopping to rest before they reach their destinations. So, I can’t remember shit, sentences are HARD and I can’t manage to type what I’m thinking properly. And, since my body is a masochist, it decided this was a really good week to start my period, so I have cramps, too.

For some reason, this always seems to coincide with belt promotion, because my uterus KNOWS I wear a white Gii. And you know what sucks? NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHOCOLATE. I miss chocolate. Stupid digestive system! Y U NO DIGEST DAIRY???

Anyway. Belt promotion tonight. I am not nervous yet, but I will be when it’s time to go. I always think that I look like this:

And in reality, I look like this:

It doesn’t help that my Snugglebunny is REALLY good. He’s flexible, he’s one of the best martial artists at our dojo, and next to him, I look like… well, like a sad fat pelican flailing about. But that’s why I’m doing all this exercise and dieting – I don’t want to be a sad fat pelican anymore. I guess it actually does help that Snugglebunny can do cool stuff, then I have something to aspire to, and someone to help me get there. But it’s also pretty easy to get frustrated, knowing that I will never be that good.

And in other news, I am still too broke to go to Sin City and it makes me sad, because it’s the 3 day weekend event. 😦 I really wanted to go. I know there will be other nights, but I want to go now! In the meantime, this is a picture of when Mr Grumpiface and I went to the Animal Kingdom Sin City and got body  painted as a lizard and the Cheshire Cat.

On that note, I’m going to accomplish something now. Peace out, bitches!

So… that’s me and my snuggle-bunny there, guys. Just as forewarning, I’m totally hot.