5 Pounds Down! (Again)

Last year, I wrote this post about reaching my first milestone of the diet. Now, I’m writing it again, and going “wait, I think we’ve been here before.” And we have, but apparently we’re back.

I don’t actually watch My Little Pony, but my niece loves it. I’ve also heard it’s hilarious.

So, the diet and exercise is working. I’m actually down about 6.5 lbs now, because apparently I’m on a roll faster than I can write. What I’ve been doing is basically a paleo diet with one cheat meal per week. I start the day with my protein shake (which is mixed with chocolate soy milk because hemp protein tastes like the kind of plants you’re not supposed to eat.) and then I have my tuna salad. It’s a can of tuna mixed with chopped veggies – red, yellow and orange peppers, celery, green onion, banana peppers, pickles, hemp hearts and dried cranberries. It is delicious. That’s about at 11:30 AM. Then at 2:30 ish, I have grilled chicken with salsa on my salad, and a piece of fruit. Then I go home, go to martial arts, come home and have chicken and salad (again.) Sometimes I have ground turkey with chopped vegetables and salsa, which is also delicious. If I’m dying for a snack, I’ll have some almonds or a rice cake with peanut butter. (You’ll recall how I feel about rice cakes, so they’re not “required eating” for this year. Otherwise I would have quit already.)

So! I am approaching my goal! Hurray! Now I just need to do something about the annoying dude at the gym with us in the morning who has no concept of gym etiquette… takes more than one set of weights, hogs one of the benches while he plays on his phone…

NO ONE ignores gym etiquette and walks away.

Also, I’ve been watching Sons of Anarchy and it’s awesome. Highly recommended. If you need a distraction from life, this will distract you for a couple weeks while you binge watch this. Oh, and I’ve been super excited about the new Outlander series, based on the books by Diana Gabaldon, which I’ve been reading since I was 15. They are absolutely fantastic books and if you haven’t started reading them, you’d best get on that. Hilarity will ensue. They’ve been talking about making a movie of the first book for a long time, but the first couple times it was discussed, they were talking about making the main character (Claire) American. Aaaand doing so would basically negate EVERYTHING about the books, including the nickname Jamie has for Claire and therefore the title of the book. So now that they’ve made a series about it, it’s been extremely close to the book for the first two episodes I’ve seen, which, by definition, makes the series absolutely fantastic. The characters are perfect!

Oh, and Guardians of the Galaxy was good. New Ninja Turtles movie was not. DAMN YOU, MICHAEL BAY AND EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS MOVIE. DAMN YOU.

And now, good night, internet. I must go to sleep so that I can wake up and lift heavy things for no reason.

Ninja Skills, Gym Etiquette & Master Gee’s

I got to spar last night! +1 to my ninja skills. I worked with a black belt who was young, but exceptionally more experienced (and talented) than I am, so I begged her and our third partner to please, please be nice to me. Both of my partners were incredibly patient and held back from pummeling me mercilessly, which was very much appreciated. However, they went above that and gave me really helpful tips and instructions on how to fight back. Then we did some MMA, (ground work – shrimping, which is less dirty than it sounds, unless you’re talking about the floor, in which case it is exactly as dirty as it sounds) some exercises related to shrimping (which was that we had to lie on our backs, and then shove ourselves over & to the side ALL the way across the floor and back, so that we had room to get out of the mount position, which was dirtier than it sounds, in that I suspect that Mr. Gee had us do this because he didn’t want to clean the floor.) All in all, it was quite the workout, and I sweated my ass off.
After further inspection, I did not, in fact “sweat my ass off”. It’s still … definitely there. 

But, this week is the last week before the fitness show, so Mr. Grumpiface is not doing weights. We did cardio on Monday and Tuesday, but I’ve been going to the gym in the evenings with Miss Sassiface, who has sadly elected to stop coming to the gym in the mornings. So, after my extremely taxing class, we went to the gym and did our second arm workout of the week. At this juncture, I recalled exactly WHY I don’t like going to the gym in the evenings – there are other people there in the evenings, and they are all males between 17-35 that have no concept of gym etiquette whatsoever. They take weights to a weight bench, and then sit there playing with their phone for ten minutes, talking to their buddies about their injuries and why they can’t lift as much as they used to. (Keep in mind, this is a pretty ghetto gym, so there’s only one set of each weight.) They never re-rack their weights, and so we have to go hunting for the weights we need. On the machines, you’d think it would be better, but NO – when they change the different bars and handles for the machines, they lose the hooks that attach them so then we have to hunt around for the bits that aren’t supposed to be taken off the machines. Also, and I don’t understand this one at all, I noticed 3 different guys with their hands in their pants for no reason that I want to know about. In addition to all of that, a couple of them have the worst BO I’ve ever smelled. Like, wanted to suggest that the dudes see a doctor about that, because I’m pretty sure that live people aren’t supposed to smell that bad. And, most importantly, they ogle Miss Sassiface like she’s a Barbie they want to play with. Thanks for making me grateful for not being that hot, guys, because you are all creepy little fucktards, like this guy:

*** At this point, I wanted to find a funny picture about making a dude stop staring, and all I could find was pictures involving “stop staring at me or I’ll have to fuck you” slogans and things like that. And now I’m angry because sometimes women actually, SERIOUSLY want you to leave them alone. SERIOUSLY.

This is Bert, who will stare back creepily until you GO AWAY. And why are your hands in your pants???

Ugh. People. Thanks for making it worth getting up at 6:30 AM so I don’t have to see you.

Aaaaaaanyway. When I came home, I talked to a friend about her experiences in martial arts at another dojo, and reflected on how very, very lucky I am to have found Master Gee’s. You see, she found it awkward to have to train alongside younger kids, who had no discipline and more importantly, no respect. And I knew as she said this, that there was no way that people would get away with that at Master Gee’s. Kids up to 14 are in separate classes, and even so, there is a level of respect and decorum they are trained to observe. I don’t know a lot about training the Tigers (children up to … 7 years old? I think?) but Mr. Grumpiface teaches the Tigers once a week. He says it’s like herding cats, if cats spoke a language somewhat related to English and had opposable thumbs with which to get into trouble. In addition, their clothes fall off constantly, and they are mentally incapable of doing as they’re told. Then there’s the part about respect: If you don’t learn to be respectful in short order, I can’t see Master Gee letting you come back. So, I go to a school where I can be taught by the best with my peer group and feel respected. I knew my school was special, but now I know that Master Gee’s school, the instructors (including Mr. Grumpiface) and the students there are the finest anywhere.

Thank you.