I don’t know what I want to write about today. Life, the Universe and Everything has been changing in its odd and unpredictable way, and I would say that most of the changes have been more positive than not. I’ve had to look at a lot of things and decide what they’re worth to me, and will be doing that quite a bit more in the coming months, because reasons.
Enough cryptic intro! So, to start with, the job front: I didn’t end up getting a different job, I took the job with the new company and, as it turns out, I really like it there. The people are really nice (sometimes they sound different via email, though) and I get along with everyone great. No one tries to boss me around (except my bosses, and that’s okay because that’s what they’re for) or make me feel bad about myself. So, in short, my horrible coworker did not come with us to FH (the new company) and I have not seen her since the end of February, when she made a huge thing out of saying goodbye to me… which was weird, because we’ve hated each other for five years and now she’s all weepy about not seeing me anymore? Really? She started to cry, so I was like “…I have to go catch my bus…”
So, new job is pretty good so far. I am happy with the people, since the big boss and one of the reps are Irish, so we get along pretty well. In addition, most of the brokers they’re recruiting are young, rather than the cranky old guys I normally deal with. One of the cranky old dudes has been badgering me non-stop for the last two months because he completely failed at being a financial planner for himself, for which I have no sympathy. Also, I’m a lot more sympathetic to people who don’t abuse other people until they get what they want. I’m not supporting the “be an asshole until you get your way” approach, and I know that it’s not worth the stress and frustration to deal with him, so I’m refusing to do so. I’m taking that approach with many people I know, because I’ve absolutely had enough of trying to protect people’s feelings at the expense of my own, and it’s just not worth the accompanying insanity.But, it’s been a bit frustrating as well – I was going to explain, but the explanation shows you how boring my job really is. Suffice to say that I am at times being told things that were not the case when I dealt directly with carriers, and I doubt very much that the things in question changed abruptly at the same time that I joined the new company. I’ll get used to the new and less expedient way of doing things, but in the meantime, it’s pretty irritating.
Anyway. I had my birthday party in March and it was great. I didn’t have my usual pre-birthday-freak-out this year, which I think is due to the fact that I’m not basing my self-worth on what other people think of me anymore, and it’s making my stress levels much more controllable. I would rather have a fewer friends who actually like me than a lot of friends who don’t really care. And, as far as that goes, I had a lot of people come to my birthday party, and I was glad to see all of them. Miss Hobbitface decorated my cake so I would be surprised about what it said, and she conspired with Mr. Grumpiface so it was delightfully inappropriate:
When I showed it to my new work people, they all laughed pretty hard. They think my snake ownership is rather amusing. I’m totally going to be the weird one in the office, but that’s okay. I’ve never been anything else.
So, in other news, after exactly three years, Mr. Grumpiface and I are moving to a new place. We’re very excited, it’s a better location, it’s nicer, it’s an apartment building so it has a pool, hot tub and fitness room, plus not being a basement suite, so it’ll have better soundproofing. (Which we need, because right now, we get woken up by the landlords’ vacuum or piano at 8:30 every Sunday, and as it turns out, listening to children clomp around like psychotic little elephants makes me want to go upstairs and break their little legs.) I’m super excited, because my new office locations (plural, because work is complicated and I work 3 days in one office and 2 days in the other.) are on the skytrain line but where we live now isn’t terribly accessible from the skytrain. So, when we move, it’ll be easier for people to come see us, and we’ll have a pool and a hot tub to convince them to do so. So, this summer will have at least one Tea & Strumpets Pool party. 🙂
So, we’ll be going through everything we own and deciding what we should move and what we need to get rid of. We will be keeping all the scale babies, and most of the electronics, but some things are going to have to go. The new place is a lot smaller, so unfortunately, a lot of stuff will have to be gifted, sold, or donated. We’ve already begun by gifting our desk to some friends, and throwing out a bunch of crap that isn’t worth moving. We need to stop hoarding so much stuff…
I haven’t actually said the thing I wanted to say, because there are always complicated stories that go with my realizations. I think all I want to say is that sometimes people put you through a lot of bullshit so that you learn that it’s not worth having them in your life. I’m still struggling though, because in a lot of cases of this, there is never a conversation where I’m given the opportunity to speak up for myself. (I don’t really seek out confrontation.) On one hand, it is obvious that I don’t need to maintain a friendship with someone who clearly has so little respect for me, but on the other, I have to wonder what it is about me that makes people think they can treat me with disregard and I should just… take it. Hence the question, are some friendships worth saving? Some are, of course, but some are not. And it’s a relief when you finally make the decision to let them die. (The friendship, not the person.)
So instead of focusing on “must lose weight, must get skinny”, my Heroic goal is to have and maintain self-respect, because being skinny is worth nothing if you let people treat you like shit. I will not be afraid to stand up for myself anymore.