So, I shared my blog last week, amid a fluttering of fear and adolescent anxiety that no one would bother reading it. Then I got an email that Mr Grumpiface was following my blog, so I messaged him and said “aww, you’re following me!” To which he replied, “Like a stalker. Me and 300 other people.” And I reacted with “What? No. I have like, 8.” At this point, I checked my stats, and it confirmed that my popularity had risen a surprising and high percentage (I don’t math, I’m not even going to try to figure it out) and I said many bad, bad words in shocked jubilation.
So, then I knew that my next blog post would have to be grand and fantastic, so as to keep people interested, right? Well, then, my body decided to spend the next several days fucking with me, so I was in a shitty mood and didn’t want to write anything for you fuckers. So, in order to spare you the gory details, suffice to say that Mr Grumpiface and I spent Friday night in the hospital, and I can’t even express how angry and frustrated I am that my body was apparently shoddily built from second-hand parts by a stoned redneck with Down’s Syndrome.
So, aside from a tiny amount of raging resentment at the world and healthy people, that they can BE healthy without worrying what stupid thing their body is going to do next, I am recovering. But, I am feeling all sorts of pressure, to stay on the diet and exercise plan, pressure to take it easy and relax, and pressure to write something witty and amusing while being genuinely upset that my body is BROKEN.
*whew* Moving right along.
My brother is in town this week, he had laser eye surgery on Saturday. Plus, Mr Grumpiface’s brother is in town, so we had to split up for Saturday after the dojo demo. The demo was great, except one guy got hurt. 😦 But where I was standing, I overheard a lady near me say (about Mr Grumpiface) “Wow! Look at the power! I’m a little scared of that guy.” And by the way she was looking at him, I was pretty sure that “scared” was not EXACTLY how she was feeling about him, which made me rather smug for the rest of the day. That’s right, ladies. That one’s mine. We sex.
Look at that butt. That’s a nice butt.
Amongst this smugness, I spent some time with The Grumpiface family, which was nice because it had been a while since I had seen any of them, and I actually like spending time with them. I’ll tell you all about Big Daddy Grumpiface sometime, he’s MOST entertaining. Here’s the link to the demo, you should watch it because it’s fantastic: http://youtu.be/_eNd8UbBnnE
The dude who got hurt is okay, just twisted his knee and is going to take it easy for a while. But, Mr Grumpiface did great with the bo staff, Mr Laziface did great with the nunchuks, and I had an amusing time walking around in a black gothy dress with a parasol. The only picture was not a very good one though, because of the lighting and the spectacularly stupid look on my face. I would describe it as “I want to be sexy and cool, but in reality, I might be having a stroke.” Also, I never fail to be surprised how disturbingly short I am next to Mr Grumpiface. Sometimes I want to reshape the picture to make me look tall and skinny…
But, keeping going on the diet & exercise plan means that eventually, I won’t look at pictures and wish I were skinnier. I will probably still wish I were tall though, it would make it easier to reach the shelves in my kitchen. But, that’s why people created platform boots.
Peace out, bitches!