I’ve reached my first milestone for the diet – 5 pounds down from where I was.

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So, as of last Wednesday, we added a new member of our gym menagerie – another competitor in the fitness show, who is also an instructor at the dojo. We shall call him Mr. Laziface. He is a mutant, so he has a fast metabolism, an obscenely low body fat percentage, and is extremely athletic, without having to put a lot of effort into it. So, there are a lot of people who look at him with a mixture of envy and bitter hatred when they see him do things that normal humans can’t do, like jump foolishly high like a bloody gazelle. Mr. Grumpiface gets rather frustrated with him – not only is he 7 years younger than Mr. Grumpiface, but he doesn’t have to start the diet until 8 weeks out from the show, whereas Mr. Grumpiface has to start a full SIXTEEN weeks out. That’s four months, people. Add in a video game rivalry, and I’m surprised they don’t kill each other. Having said that, I have noticed that most male friendships thrive on competition and adversarial combat. I found it a very curious thing that, at the tournament we went to in May of this year, Mr. Grumpiface faced off with a very large blue belt, who was a) obviously very experienced in MMA, and b) probably a cop.  So, he RUINED Mr. Grumpiface in the tournament and won first prize, and then I got to watch throughout the day as Mr. Grumpiface turned into a fangirl for the dude. I think it’s a leftover remnant of caveman principles – “he destroyed me in combat, therefore I must bow before his physical prowess and relinquish my female to his harem.”

Bro Hug

On that note though, I am forced to admit that watching my Snugglebunny beat people up still triggers the lizard part of my brain that says “Yes, we will fornicate with this one, and he will provide many dead animals and protect me from other sweaty dudes.” Some programming can never be overwritten.
Anyway, Mr. Laziface has a girlfriend, who we will call Miss Sassiface. She started coming to Sin City with us last March, and we’ve become very good friends very quickly after that. She’s joined the dojo, and is one of Mr. Grumpiface’s students right now. Now, she’s going to be joining us at the gym this week. We were supposed to start this morning, but it turns out that the gym is closed on stat holidays. Oh NOES! I had to go home and GO BACK TO BED!!! This has been a fantastic fucking day. I mean, I was supposed to clean my house, do food prep, exercise and shower and all that stuff, but then it turned into this:

Nap

Don’t judge me. It’s a stat holiday. That means it’s a day for “I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT” which for me, means watching a Disney movie and dancing around while I act like I’m going to accomplish something, then get distracted by internets and realize that I was supposed to be done this shit now. Oops.

In other news, I made a new friend over the weekend, an old friend of Mr. Grumpiface’s. She doesn’t live here, unfortunately, but we got along quite well. But hey, this is what Facebook is for, right? Plus, we also managed to see the fireworks this time! YAY! So, all in all, pretty fantastic weekend. 😀

Unicorn

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