So, we’re one week in. I came home from work and passed out on the couch for an hour before I managed to haul my ass off the couch and make something to eat. At least I’m too tired to overeat now. Mr. Grumpiface says that being tired ALL THE TIME never goes away, you just sort of forget how it feels to be rested with energy.
I haven’t started to lose much weight yet. The scale has started going down, but it’s slow and I’m going to have to fight like hell for every pound lost. I’m thinking about doing some before/after shots, just for my own reflection, but really, how am I ever going to top this? Picture A is a level of sexy I may never achieve.
This realization has resulted in a rash of superhero movies, or training movies, or anything that shows someone showing personal development. Anything that will lend me a false sense of motivation to get through tomorrow. Then I’ll find another movie to motivate me – or just stick with my old standby, the best movies with training montages and the little guy, the underdog, wins it all – ROCKY.
(Shut up, I don’t want to hear your criticisms.) My mom got me to watch these movies when I was 9 years old, and they had a surprising effect on the makeup of my personality. Being a short, little tiny kid, always the smallest, the quietest, the one no one noticed, I identified with Rocky in the first movie. I wanted to be ready for my shot, when someone finally noticed me and let me show them I was someone too… but I’ve been waiting ever since. The opportunities I’ve had to show myself were wasted because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t do the work to learn the skills I wanted, and I wasn’t physically impressive enough to be noticed. So I am not going to give up and be nothing. I will be everything I want to be.
And that means that I will have to get up and do cardio tomorrow. No matter how much I want to sleep in, and no matter how much I want to eat whatever I want. I. WILL. NOT. QUIT.
Unless, you know, I find a really good reason. In the meantime… Superhero movies.