Heroic level = Kate, which is equal to three levels of awesome and two levels of angry.

Ugh. Fine.

I was recently given shit about having let my blog pass away in the night (though I personally blame my decision to write 30 posts in 30 days and then be surprised that they were not exactly popular. Turns out my day-to-day life is EXTREMELY boring when I’m forced to behave myself.) So I figured I’d pop back on and see what’s up.

So… what’s up? Well, Mr. Grumpiface and I are back on our diet/exercise regimes again after it all crashed & burned after the Elder Brother Grumpiface came out from I-Can’t-Believe-People-Live-There, Saskatchewan for a visit that involved a disc golf tournament, copious amounts of pizza, sugar, munchies and strange men sleeping in my house. I also went to a Whitecaps game as part of a work party thing (one of our brokers bailed last minute) so I got to spend the time trying to figure out what was happening, and eventually resigning myself to being surprised by the ending. I am not a sports person.


Moving on. July was hot and uncomfortable, and became September (August happened but was not particularly notable) and then we had September birthdays, diets not really being a thing. Also, my company took over a bigger office space, so I have a corner office at the back, and I love it. It’s wonderful. Oh! August through October was not particularly noteworthy because I was working on a special project that I didn’t really want to do so I spent a lot of time trying to get everything done with the special project and my existing responsibilities without, you know, crashing and burning professionally… and so diet/exercise were significantly downgraded in importance. I was supposed to start again after it was done, so I joined a gym near the office so I can just go downtown, work out, shower at the gym or use the showers in our building, and then go straight to work, or go after work. I found going after work problematic because I was getting home so late, but going in the morning was problematic from having to get up so early.

Apple_Bloom_thinking_S02E23Anyway. Competed in office Halloween contest, did not win but got an honourable mention for the scary makeup job. Spent Halloween evening eating candy and watching The Crow, Mr. Grumpiface’s Halloween movie pick, and then The Craft, which I wanted to watch. It was fun. November happened and DUDE, I WAS FRONT AND CENTER AT THE HEADSTONES CONCERT AND HUGH DILLON WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND KEPT LEANING OVER ME THE WHOLE CONCERT, IT WAS THE BEST THING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! And ever since then, I have reinvigorated my fangirlling on Hugh Dillon by watching X Company, which is a very good show about Canadian spies in WWII, and rewatching Flashpoint again because he’s soooooooooooo amaaaaaaaazzing!!!!

heart eyesArtist: Drewklettke

And then the office Christmas party was the end of November, and it was fun (the next day was decidedly not) and then I had a week of holidays before Christmas, and I got my first ever breast exam, when my doctor told me I had a lump on my breast and it scared the shit out of me for the remainder of the holidays until I could get in to get an ultrasound on it. It’s literally nothing. It’s just normal breast tissue. Thanks, doc. But I met Mr. Grumpiface’s boss and colleagues and am confident in saying that they like me better than him. Had Christmas, it was nice, but my brother couldn’t make it down and that was less nice, but the Grumpiface family – sans Monsieur Grumpiface the Younger, since he ended up stuck in the hell-hole that is Calgary for Christmas day because of vehicle issues and the lunacy of being in Calgary to begin with – came out for Christmas dinner since we always make too much food so that we can have leftovers.


So then New Years, we went to a friend’s place and had champagne at midnight and had a good time with our friends that we don’t see enough. Then the new year started and we started to cut back on sugar and salt, and try to eat healthy. I was reminded of how important this was because in one week, I had 3 different people ask me if I was pregnant, and by the third one I was like “NO! Jesus Fuck, I just got fat, okay?” In case you’re wondering, this is not an appropriate thing to ask someone, especially if they are a) sensitive about their weight b) not sure if they even want kids because kids are gross and c) not enthusiastic about having their personal worth diminished to being an incubator. Oh, and d) it’s none of your fucking business, unless you want people to ask you about your reproductive organs. One of the askers knew I was going for an ultrasound so I can kind of forgive that, but honestly.  Not cool, bro. Anyway, then Mr. Grumpiface’s birthday happened so we ate junk food all weekend again and are starting from scratch… again.


Anyway. Let’s get on with it. *Sigh*



finish him

Well, not quite the finish, since I’m continuing with the AIP diet for the foreseeable future. But it’s the finish of the first 30 days and I did it! I did the first 30 days without failing or cheating or having a meltdown. I’m feeling better and I look better and I am losing weight, it’s fantastic. So, I’m going to stick with it because there are a few things that this has meant to me:

  1. I’m on a diet for lessening the symptoms of an Auto-Immune disease, and I got better. Kinda puts a big red arrow toward the root of a lot of my problems. So, sticking with this for as long as possible will hopefully keep that auto-immune-disease far, far down the road.
  2. I am mentally much healthier than I was a few months ago. I was miserable and frustrated and felt awful about feeling awful, and things were generally not particularly good upstairs. And that’s all better now because I’m actually dealing with the things that I wasn’t happy about instead of avoiding them, thus prolonging the worry and anxiety over things I could have changed. Now that I’m actually doing something about this stuff, I am much happier.
  3. I finished something. I set out to do 30 days and I did it. Every other time I have tried to diet, I have failed after a week or two. I have never finished anything like this before and it’s a huge thing for me to have actually stuck with it all the way through. So, while I know that most people are able to just NOT eat all the bad foods they like, but I am not most people and I have the self-control of a cat who has figured out how to get catnip whenever it wants. I’m a junk food addict and it’s hard to make yourself stop, especially when delicious food is EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, and healthy food is both expensive and harder to find.
    So, at the end of the 30 days, I decided to add peppers back in because it’s surprisingly hard to avoid them and my salads are getting REALLY boring. And I’m going to stop blogging daily because hey, no one needs to hear all this about my boring daily life. But I did it, guys.
    rocky victory30 Days: FLAWLESS VICTORY.

May 16th: AIP Day 30

So, day 30! Apparently I miscounted the days, but whatever, I’m not having a cheat meal until the weekend anyway. We’re going to a video-game-themed restaurant and then going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2. But I have reached my original goal for the first 30 days of losing 10 pounds, so yay! Now I just need to start adding foods back in until I can identify the triggers. For the first one, I can’t decide if it should be peppers or eggs. I tend to eat a lot of both of those things when I’m trying to diet, and eggs would make protein sources easier, but peppers would make my salads a lot more interesting, plus I would be able to use all the chili-based spices I’ve been avoiding. I miss putting a flavour in my food that was something besides garlic. But eggs are used in so much stuff, and it would make it easier to make paleo baked goods because without eggs, things get complicated.

I would like to think that I have ingrained some better habits, so I will continue with that hope going forward, because SURPRISE! I’m going to stick with this diet for the foreseeable future until I reach my target weight. If I continue losing 2-3 lbs a week, I should reach it by mid-July. However, since what normally happens with people who stick to a healthy eating plan, they lose weight until they reach a plateau where their body is comfortable maintaining it’s weight on the eating plan, so they need to also exercise to continue making progress. So, I’ve got Fightfit 3 days a week (and I will actually start to go, even.) and then I signed up for a subscription to DDPYoga. I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about it on here, but anyone who has ever met me has heard me rave about this yoga program, because it’s Amazeballs. So, after Christmas I was doing it consistently for about a month until things went sideways in my life and we ended up moving abruptly and things happened. Anyway, I didn’t start raving about it on my blog because I felt I hadn’t been doing it consistently enough to justify saying that it was working. However, I did find an increase in my flexibility, and it was HARD. It gets your heart rate going and it builds strength through dynamic resistance and balance training, so these are all good things for martial arts. I’m excited about being able to get to a point in my physicality where I feel good about what I’m doing and how I feel, so more updates on DDPYoga later. *Yeah, you’re going to hear about it. TRUST ME.*

ddp bang

So! Today: Banana in the morning with genmatcha tea and water. Got super hungry around 11:30 and had the remainder of my salad I didn’t finish yesterday, and then at 1pm, I had my ground beef & salad lunch. And then I got sick in the afternoon, and I don’t know why. But it can’t have been the kombucha because I didn’t drink any since last Sunday, so that’s a relief. I was feeling rather like a beloved companion had turned around and attacked me. *BETRAYAL*


Anyway, I had an apple when I got home then went to the dojo to do some admin work, and then wasn’t hungry when we got home at 9:30, so I just made lunch for tomorrow. I’ll be hungry when I get up tomorrow, but for now, I’ll drink my mint tea and go to bed.

Day 30: conquered.

May 15th: AIP Day 29

Hey, so, I woke up today and continued to feel awful, but I had a meeting with a carrier rep in the afternoon and couldn’t call in sick, so I tried to drink loooots of water and then went to work. I had 3 cups of tea by noon, which is a lot for me, plus water and a banana, but my stomach didn’t settle down until after 2 o’clock, after I had a tuna salad from Urban Fare, since I didn’t exactly feel up to cooking last night. Then I had my big meeting with the rep and got to feel very important, and hopefully do some things to help the operations staff at my company to make things a bit easier on us. But during the meeting, I had a cup of Starbucks green tea, which was by far the worst tea I’ve ever put in my mouth, and I ended up dumping it after the meeting. Bleh. Who drinks this shit?

Anyway. Came home. Ate food – leftover yam & sausage with vegan mayo on salad. I had to run an errand after work so I came home late. I could probably have made it to Fightfit but my stomach still feels weird and painful even now, and it’s 10 o’clock. Just FYI, food poisoning (or whatever happened) is unpleasant and makes you feel yucky for a long time afterward.


Day 29: Snuffed. (I don’t know. I’m running out of synonyms.)

May 13th & 14th: AIP Day 27 & 28

I forgot to blog last night! I was busy and then I fell asleep and woke up at 1 am and decided to just go back to bed. I totally forgot to blog though.

So, let’s start with yesterday! I was supposed to wake up early and go to Fightfit, and surprise! I didn’t. I slept until 1 o’clock, had a grapefruit, showered & went to get my hair done in New West, which was a fun trip because I missed the bus and had to call a cab to get down to the train station. Super annoying. Anyway, I brought a sliced apple (all my apples are sliced. I do not like biting apples. I don’t know why. But I haven’t actually bitten into an apple for years.) but then I forgot to eat it until I got home, which was after stopping at Safeway for MOAR GROCERIES and then skytraining/bussing home. It was not a nice trip home and then I got home at a quarter to seven and realized I had eaten 1 grapefruit all day, and had a large bottle of water. So I cooked up a package of sausages and boiled some yam cubes and made myself sausage & yam on salad, and gobbled it up.


Then I played WoW for a while, then bedtime.

Sunday! It was Mother’s day today, so I got up at 10 and took a whole bunch of salad stuff out to my sister’s place where we were making a huge brunch for the moms. My faux-brother & his wife, Mr. & Mrs. Craftiface, were there as well, because they’re always with us for holidays and we love them. But since there were six of us, we had a feast! Waffles, ham, sausage, potato salad, some baked penne & mushroom pasta dish… I contented myself with salad with sausage and ham, and tried not to look at or smell the waffles, which I am told were amazing. But! I was strong! I did not bend! I had my kombucha and my salad and my ham and sausage and I did not complain! (much.)


No, I told everyone about how much better I was feeling and how my digestive system was working properly and how great the diet was, and then we took my mom out to help her shop for new clothes for her trip to Ireland (super jealous, btw, but hiding it badly.) I grabbed a water from Panago (which was the closest food place) to stay hydrated, and drank pretty much the whole bottle before realizing it was expired. It tasted fine, so I didn’t really think anything of it. Then went back to mom’s place and sat down. Started feeling not so good. Went into bathroom. Became VERY VERY SICK for over an hour. Finally caved and asked Mr. Grumpiface to come get me, so he had to skip his family dinner to come out and take me home. I felt terrible, not just because I had just thrown up everything I’d eaten into a garbage can, but also because he didn’t even get his dinner. I ruined everything.


I don’t even know what made me so sick, but oh my god, it was bad. The only thing I can think of is that if I used a raspberry with some bad bacteria on it in my kombucha, then the fermentating process would’ve made the whole drink a large bottle of food poisoning. I dumped it out, just in case. Or maybe it was an under-cooked sausage, or maybe it was the expired water. Who knows, but it was not okay.

Silver lining: As of Saturday morning, I’d lost 9 lbs, and was trying to think of how I was going to get that 10th one down. Pretty sure I managed it today. Bleh.


Day 27: Slaughtered
Day 28: Lived Through

May 12th: AIP Day 26

Friday! Yaaaaay! Day wasn’t super interesting. Worked. Did stuff. Had a mushy banana. OH MY GOD, I forgot to buy more bananas, what am I going to eat tomorrow? MY WORLD HAS BEEN SHATNERED.


I went to a different salad bar for lunch because I was getting a bit tired of trying to find a table at Urban Fare (though in retrospect, if I had gone to Urban Fare, I could have bought some bananas. Frack.) so I tried out a new place in the Bentall centre and it was like any other salad bar, except with yucky dressing and crappy forks. Just a tip to all the salad bars out there, first of all, to keep your balsamic dressing from separating, you add ground mustard. Also some flavouring of some kind. Like… anything. It was basically a layer of balsamic vinegar under a layer of oil, and when you put it on your salad, you got a coating of oil in your mouth before a shot of balsamic vinegar and then whatever unfortunate vegetable was caught in the great dressing fail of 2017. Oh, and if you’re going to provide vegetables that are chopped into the same general size and shape of a coaster, you’re going to have to give us proper forks. Not metal ones, but the good plastic ones. You know, the ones that don’t bend in defeat when faced with a chunk of cucumber.


Also I stopped at a place that sells hippie food and got some hippie food in the form of a bottle of kombucha and a stick of “natural” (bland as fuuuuuuuuck) pepperoni. The kombucha was because I forgot mine in the fridge at work, and because I have 12 bottles at home but somehow only 11 lids, so that needed to be addressed. After that, I went back to work and mostly just talked to one of my bosses who had just discovered David’s Tea and wanted to tell me ALL about it! HAHAHAHAAA I AM A GOD, PUNY MORTAL! KNEEL BEFORE ME AND DESPAIR! And then I showed her my tea stash at work, because I have 7 different teas in the cupboard and then a whole bunch hidden in my desk, and I gave her one of the coconut ones because gross. I am going to take a picture of my tea cupboard and send it to her this weekend so she can fully appreciate my total commitment to tea.  Speaking of tea, after work I went to David’s tea to pick up a gift for some friends and to buy some Sour Appletini tea, which was AMAZING.

Image result for olive penderghast yum

Home. Snuggled Mr. Grumpiface on the couch and accidentally fell asleep for about an hour. Woke up with no time to have dinner before going to see said friends and deliver said gift, so I chopped up an apple and we went to Whole Foods so Mr Grumpiface could pick up some obscenely-priced almonds, and I bought a thing of fruit so I could have something to tide me over until I got home… which turned out to be after 11, because I went for coffee and spent 2.5 hours catching up with my sister, niece and my fake-brother & sister-in-law. It was great and I’m glad I got to spend time with them, because it’s important to see people you love to remind you of why you are doing what you’re doing. People who are naturally healthy have problems too, but the potential for me getting sick makes normal problems even worse, so it reminded me that the people that love me have a hard enough time with life, the universe and everything without worrying about me too, so I better do what I can to be healthy. Because even if I sometimes feel like the world is a pointless place and I don’t really want to live on this planet anymore, I don’t exist in a vacuum and my life affects others’ lives. That’s just how it goes. And that’s how it should be. Huh, I don’t know where to go from there. Look, a cute cat!



Anyway, Finally came home, made some salad with ground beef & mushrooms, with some of the horrid vegan mayo that I won’t throw out because it was expensive. Turns out garlic salt can fix a lot of things, including vegan mayo. And a cup of Sour Appletini tea with honey because I was frozen from sitting outside for 2.5 hours with friends because they have a dog. BUT I have to tell you a very exciting thing, which is that I had one of my raspberry kombuchas on the way to friends’ house, and IT FIZZED! I made it fizz! I’m so excited! It’s so delicious AND healthy and relatively easy to make, I am so happy that Miss Sassiface introduced me to this. I took a picture of my bottle fizzing and sent it to her. Oh, and something else I wanted to mention: I have basically stopped sighing heavily over things I can’t have. I can walk through the store and look for the things I can have and not stress about it. It’s good. It’s like I earned a bonus to my will save or something.

And now, I will say goodnight and go to bed.

Day 26: Quashed.

May 11th: AIP Day 25th

Today… Let’s see. I got up earlier than usual and still managed to be late for work, and had a snarky phone call with our B2B rep because he didn’t like that I’ve had to change his appointment with us 3 times, but to be fair, I don’t give a fuck. So there’s that, all before my morning banana. Then I actually did work things, then met Miss Sassiface for lunch for the supposedly last time until she quits but they’re going to ask her to come back to train the new person they only just hired, so I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to have many more lunches with her before our relationship devolves into text-based good intentions that lead nowhere.


Lunch was salad with ham and balsamic vingerette dressing and a bottle of grapefruit kombucha THAT I MADE (yeeaaah!) but wasn’t fizzy (boooo) because I can’t fucking follow directions even when someone very kindly has written them out for me because NUMBERS ARE HARD (I process investments.)

Gala apple for work afternoon snack and then granny smith apple with cinnamon for pre-dojo snack. Then I went to the dojo and did some filing that involved reading some people’s very old files and finding a few embarrassing things in there. Funny how everyone’s immediate reaction to finding embarrassing things is to show everyone as soon as possible. I was very excited to show the person in question, but he was still in class and I was hungry, so I left him a note and went home. I should be able to make fun of him for it at a later date. This is known as “Delayed humiliation”, a tactic best employed against people who are NOT fourth-degree black belts, but I ain’t scare of no mutherfuckers.

ball python

Then I came home and made ground beef with mushrooms and garlic (I meant to put onion in there but I forgot) on salad with vegan mayo. (Because no eggs.) I bought very expensive vegan mayo from the very expensive grocery store and it tastes like hardened vegetable oil, so that’s fantastic. The cheap stuff from the cheap grocery store at least tasted like mayo, and didn’t make me feel like such an obnoxious twat. I miss being able to eat normal food, because this whole diet thing has introduced a rather uncomfortable mental quandary of using a lot of products I normally use as criteria for judging other people. Specifically tall, skinny women with messy buns and tights for pants, but I’m not exclusionary and will freely judge others as warranted.


Except not silent. I’m joking. I don’t judge people the way I used to. I’ve made waaaaay too many mistakes to stay on that bandwagon.

Day 25: Slaughtered! I didn’t actually think about cheating very much today, just about how to stay on the diet. Yay.

May 10th: AIP Day 24

One more week. I will be super proud of myself for finishing this. I never finish stuff like this, I always start things and then they turn out to be hard so I bail. But I’m actually going to finish this. So, today! How about today…

Well, to start with, the bus was late, so that was fun. Then I got to work and our database system was actually working, so we were all feverishly trying to get out stuff done before we lost it again. My feverish-working lasted the whole day and I was very productive because I want to actually take my lunch break tomorrow to say a fond farewell to Miss Sassiface, who has decided not to work downtown anymore so it will be harder to meet up with her. Sad Kate.

Red Panda 4

Anyway. Banana this morning. Chicken & veggie soup for lunch with a bottle of my homemade grapefruit kombucha that didn’t fizz up, so that was disappointing. I forgot to eat my apple for the afternoon snack, so I was starving when I got home and had ANOTHER banana because I was going to take Fightfit, but then I didn’t. I’m glad because I bottled a new batch of Kombucha – 2 Strawberry, 2 Watermelon and 2 Cherry/Raspberry – and brewed a new batch for bottling this weekend, and due to my spectacular lack of preparation, I ended up also having to clean the bottles with vinegar and one of them is missing a lid, I had to locate the pot I use to boil the tea for kombucha which had soup in it in the fridge so I had to empty the soup, wash the pot, and THEN make the tea and basically I was in the kitchen for over 3hours tonight. I had the rest of the soup for dinner because I don’t want to cook anything else because I’m so tired of doing dishes and everything takes so long to cook and I’m tired now. *whine* I did nothing fun today. I went to work, I came home, I cooked and cleaned things and then by the time I decided to sit down, it was time to write this and go to bed. This is adult life. This is sadness. There must be an escape!

Me, trying to escape adulthood, having not quite achieved it yet but I don’t want it.

Day 24: Thwarted! That’s a good word.

Now I’m going to bed because I’m too tired to do anything fun. /lame.

May 9th: Day 23

I finally went back and fixed the titles because it was annoying me to start each post with the wrong number and knowing it was wrong. I fixed it now. So, ask me how my day was! Horrific, that’s how! I was gone for one. Day. I come back and our database system (the system we use to keep track of EVERYTHING) is down. Has been since yesterday afternoon. It was just our office and fairly low priority until the sickness spread to EVERY OTHER OFFICE ACROSS CANADA. Then they got them working, but not us. Nope, we started the apocalypse, we have to live with it.

Well, that explains it.

So, I had my banana and a cup of Lemon Pound Cake tea and waited. And waited. And waaaaaited. Then at lunch, I had some soup and waited. I was working on my email all this time, but even then, I still have to upload the emails to our system, so I can’t actually FINISH anything. It was the most non-productive day ever. I had to send stuff to the Calgary office to get them to handle it because while I was there, I was not useful, other than to make jokes and try to ease the tension.

Then I remembered after a reminder text from my mom that BC had an election today and I still hadn’t voted. So I took the opportunity to utilize the “take time off work to go vote” rule because a) I was the only one who could vote that hadn’t yet, and b) I had nothing to do and c) neither did anyone else but I had an excuse to leave and they didn’t. I am the only Canadian-born person in our office. Everyone else immigrated, or is a PR. Except people tied to our office who work off-site, so they’re not “IN” the office, so they don’t count. Anyway. I left at 3:30 to go home, change, get my voting card, go catch the bus and vote, then go to my dentist appointment and meet my new dentist, who is SUPER nice, which is why I picked her. I had a thing of berries from Safeway after I left the dentist, since I wasn’t going to eat it before (look at all the seeds in my teeth!) and headed to the dojo, where I did filing and other office-y things until I got hungry and went home at around 9 ish. Then I had some chicken and salad with balsamic vinegar dressing and some kombucha. I put the rest of my kombucha in the fridge after Miss Sassiface informed me that I derped on the instructions and left the bottled kombucha in the warmth for too long. So I might have ruined it. I’ll try it tomorrow and let you know.  Ugh, I don’t want tomorrow. I don’t want another day like today where I have to be there but can’t do anything useful. But I have to go because apparently if I don’t, something terrible happens.


Day 23 (for reals): ganked. because Supernatural. Also, I’m still hungry and now I want some pie.

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